


An Excessive Proposal

by mudkipwrites



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: 5+1 Things, Accidents, Comedy of Errors, Communication Failure, Irony, Kallus whump, Love Poems, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24048958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mudkipwrites/pseuds/mudkipwrites
Summary: Kallus wants to propose marriage to Zeb, and he wants it to be exceptional. However, the advice that he gets from the Ghost crew is...less than helpful. Will his mate still want him after all this?? (OR: Five times that Kallus fails in his attempts to propose marriage, plus one time that a marriage proposal actually works).
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 20
Kudos: 104
Collections: Kalluzeb appreciation week 2020.





	An Excessive Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shippingandrecieving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingandrecieving/gifts).



> As we approach the end of KAW, I want to dedicate this short little 5+1 fic to the sweet and mighty @shippingandrecieving! If you want to read something so tender-hearted and darling that you might just faint, then you mut check out what they have wrote for the Kalluzeb fandom. Thanks for bringing such softness to these boys, Ship!

* * *

KALLUZEB APPRECIATION WEEK 2020 - DAY 7 / WEDNESDAY MAY 7 / "5+1 STORIES" 

for shippingandrecieving <3

* * *

**1) FIRST, WITH THE LOTH-CATS**

The first time that Alexsandr Kallus attempts a marriage proposal, it is an absolute and utter failure.

He should have trusted his instincts rather than listened to the advice of young Ezra Bridger--that was his _first_ mistake. And he should have delivered his delicate, handmade creation with his own, human hands--that was his _second_ . But how could he have known that the Loth-Cats involved would be such foul, untrustworthy creatures? Why should he have suspected that the little terrors would shred and devour his handiwork _(along with his feelings)_ between their sharp claws and needle-point teeth?

Alexsandr Kallus had spent the best of one afternoon chasing and herding the wild, wicked things. Finally, after consulting the wisdom of Bridger, he’d managed to corner a pair of the beasts at the edge of the garden. He’d chosen the fatter one for his proposal, and, after coaxing the impish thing into his plan, he’d tied a soft ribbon around its plush neck, adorned with a carefully hand-painted sign: “Garazeb Orrelios: would you do me the honor of marrying me?” 

He did not have much time to relish in his success. Apparently, his painstaking calligraphy had been a little _too_ appealing to the eye: for the fat, evil Loth-cat had promptly torn off his sign and _ate_ it. 

Plump from wrecking proposals, that one. 

**2) SECOND, WITH THE SCAVENGER HUNT**

The second time that Kallus attempts his marriage proposal, he ends up sending the whole Rebel base into lock-down and chaos. 

This time around, he asks Sabine Wren for her advice instead. The Mandelorian woman is clever and creative, and sure enough, their morning discussion flourishes into a multi-staged plan of engagement. At Sabine’s suggestion, Kallus designs a fun scavenger hunt winding a scenic path through Zeb’s favorite places. Beginning on the _Ghost_ with his treasured bo-rifle, Garazeb will be instructed by clues to follow Kallus through a series of obstacles, with the end result of locating him ( _on one knee, with a ring)_ at the peak of the Temple. He feels very good about this proposal, and schemes with Sabine on how best to distribute the “mission information” to Zeb. 

Unfortunately, when Garazeb receives his list of instructions, he swiftly assumes that his dear Alexsandr has been kidnapped--and he flies into a titanic, unholy _rage._ Wasting no time in the occasion of danger, the Lasat alerts high command of suspicious activity; then begins his own, _aggressive_ flavor of interrogation. Kallus, of course, has no idea of Garazeb’s stress: thus it is an unpleasant surprise when the warning sirens blare over the jungle, and his com-unit declares that all personnel must report back to base due to imminent danger of missing persons. 

Perhaps he ought to have included Mon Mothma in his plans as well. 

**3) THIRD, WITH THE LOVE POEM**

His third attempt at a marriage proposal ends up insulting Zeb more than anything else. 

Opting for something more direct and personal, for this occasion he enlists Kanan Jarrus’ help _(the Jedi knight has won the affections of Hera Syndulla; surely he must have some kind of romantic talent?)_ True enough, after listening to Kallus’ concerns, the Force-user suggests that he propose to Garazeb with an exchange of sweet, romantic words in the form of a love poem. And when Kallus emphasizes his desire to do something extra special, Kanan points out that he could always recite the words in Zeb’s native Lasana. 

The idea is daunting, but not impossible. Kallus has been attempting to learn the melodic language ever since he had become Agent Fulcrum, in order to add an extra layer of privacy to his Rebel transmissions. Back on the _Chimera,_ he’d spent many an evening in front of his mirror, practicing the shape of his lips and the flick of his tongue; however, he’s never been _quite_ able to master the rolling consonants or the vocal inflections. Plus, he’s never spoken the words without notes. But the challenge of memorizing the love poem excites him, and so he returns to his practice of speaking Lasat before the mirror in the privacy of his ‘fresher at night. 

After much angst and anticipation, one night Kallus asks Zeb for a walk in the moonlight. As the pair of them stroll by the riverbank, he gathers up all of his courage and wisdom.

 _“Garazeb?”_ he begins, “ _My dearest, I covet your full attention.”_

Zeb’s ears prick up in interest. He turns towards his partner. 

“ _Sabers are red, holos are blue, but nothing is sweeter than how I love you.”_

The other man smiles. He gives Kallus a nod. 

_“Some dwarf stars are white, some eyes are bright-green, but you’re the ugliest creature that I’ve ever seen.”_

One of Zeb’s eyelids twitch. His mouth slips into an uncertain line. 

Uncertain what is going wrong, Kallus plows hurriedly forward: “ _I have smelled roses and delicious pots, but nothing smells quite as bad as Lasats.”_

This time, his partner wrinkles his brow. An irritable tooth emerges from his lower lip. 

“That’s not very funny, Kal,” he says in a gruff voice. “Quit kiddin’ around.” 

Alexsandr Kallus is left standing alone on the bank of the river, feeling disappointed and dumbstruck. 

**3) FOURTH, WITH THE IMPROMPTU SKYDIVING** ****

At this point, Alexsandr Kallus is getting desperate. He swallows his pride and asks General Hera Syndulla for her insight on how to propose to his partner.

As he’d suspected, the Twi’lek pilot is overjoyed by his interest. She knows Zeb’s favorite hobbies only too well, and she suggests something exciting, high-adrenaline and adventurous for his fourth proposal. If this had been Kallus’ first attempt, he would have rejected her dangerous idea outright--however, he is feeling _more_ than a little reckless than usual, and so he agrees to arranging the high-speed flight-course.

At least it had been _exciting_.

One evening--after _several_ pints at the bar--Kallus goads his competitive partner into accepting a bet with the General. The next morning, the three of them _(and several other, more daring pilots)_ suit up and depart for the low-flying obstacle race course. Usually, the network of sharp cliffs and suspended traps is reserved for training new recruits for planetary battles alone--but Hera had talked to high command, and had encouraged him to affix the finish line with a great, waving banner of victory: “CAPTAIN ORRELIOS: WILL YOU MARRY ME? --KALLUS.” 

They’d never even arrived at the ending. Overzealous in one of his turns ( _and, perhaps,_ _a little shaky with his hands),_ Kallus had crashed into one of the mossy stalactites. Cursing and fanning at the flames in his cabin, he’d pounded against the ejection button and had been launched into the ocean air. Fortunately, Kallus remembers Hera’s last-minute emergency instructions and manages to release the chord of his ‘chute before crashing into the salty bay. Less fortunate is that his ever-protective partner sees him, and launches his own escape pod towards the waves for a rescue. 

Soaking wet and ringing sea-water out of his boots, Kallus decides that he’ll never pilot a speedship again. 

**5) FIFTH, WITH THE SPARRING MATCH AND THEN THE MED-BAY**

His fifth and final proposal lands Alexsandr Kallus in the medical bay. 

As a last resort, he finally gives in to asking for help from Chopper. It’s not that he doesn’t _like_ the ship’s astromech ( _read: murdur-bot_ ) unit--it’s just that he doesn’t _trust_ him. (It is rumored on base, and for no small or unapparent reason, that C1-10P has the highest kill-point around). Naturally, Chop suggests that Kallus propose Zeb during one of their regular sparring matches. It’s the pair set aside a portion each day for training and sparring with one another. Theoretically, it would not be a challenge for Alexsandr to slip in a movement during their spar that brings him romantically down to one knee. 

However, reality is never nearly as smooth as the abstract. 

Kallus He plots his move carefully: after the fight has gone on for some time--and while Zeb is busily stripping down to his waist in his sweaty jumpsuit--he moves into action. Wiping the pouring sweat from his own brow, he slips the meteorite-adorned ring into his hand. He is so intent on keeping the object clutched in his slippery grip _(and out of the Lasat’s keen eyesight)_ that when he returns to the sparring circle, he trips directly over the staff that Garazeb has aimed for his knees. 

Normally, he would catch himself with his hands. Today, he face-dives into the dirt. 

“Kal! Are ya _hurt_ ?” his partner exclaims. Dropping down to where he is lying upon his face and groaning, Zeb turns him over with careful hands. The sucked inhale of his breath is telling: Kallus raises one hand to his aching head and feels the hot, sticky drip of his own blood running down his sweating face. Beneath his fingertips, he can feel a deep gouge in the _precise_ size of a ring upon his temple. 

“Hold still, ya got somethin’ stuck in there--” Garazeb flicks the gore-coated gemstone away, his eyes only for Kallus’ brow. “C’mon, let’s go an’ get ya some bacta fer that.”

He sends Chopper to fetch it back for him later. 

**\+ 1 )**

Alexsandr Kallus is not a quitter. 

That’s why he’s eating a quart of beebleberry ice-cream at nine in the morning. That’s why he’s sitting on the highest ledge of the Great Temple, pondering yet another far-fetched plan in order to woo his dear partner. Despite all of his painstaking attempts at marriage proposals, every last _one_ of his schemes have ultimately resulted in failure. And he’s beginning to run low on ideas and enthusiasm. 

_What’s wrong with me?_ He wonders morosely, spooning in yet another cold mouthful of ice cream. _Does the Ashla not want us to be together? I think that Garazeb is truly The One!_ Muttering sadly to himself, Kallus scratches at his unshaven face. _Aren’t things like this supposed to go perfect? I always thought that proposals were magic._

With a heavy sigh, he casts the empty carton away. Rising and stretching, a fluid, purple movement on the warm stones below catches his eye. 

“Garazeb?” Kallus calls. 

The Lasat pulls himself over a lower ledge. 

“Mornin’, Kal!” he calls to his partner. “Is this where you’ve been? I couldn’t find ya for our regular workout.” 

Guiltingly tucking the spoon away, Kallus shrugs in forced nonchalance. 

“Oh! Ah. I got it done earlier. I thought I’d come up here for some fresh air.” 

The other man arrives, chest slightly huffing. At first he smiles at Kallus, but then his green eyes narrow with suspicion. 

“Beebleberry ice cream?” he asks with a sniff. “Alone? At _this_ hour?” 

Kallus cringes with shame as the Lasat settles down next to him. 

“What’s botherin’ ya, Kal? You’ve been actin’ strange fer _weeks.”_ He raises a hand and places it gently upon his shoulder. “First, ya start meetin’ with all the members of our family, an’ tellin’ me that I’m not supposta come. Then, ya start invitin’ me to do all of these _crazy_ schemes. I’m never bored when I’m around ya, but this is gettin’ a _little_ extreme.” Zeb tilts his head to the side seriously. “Are ya mad? Are ya tryin’ to break up with me?” 

These words send Kallus into a spiral. 

“W-what? _No!”_ he exclaims. He rests his hands imploringly on Garazeb’s chest. “I haven’t been trying to act all unusual; I’ve just been so _nervous_! When I first asked Ezra, I thought that it would be simple and easy, and that it would end right there. But then the Loth-cats were wicked, and so I had to ask Sabine for assistance--” 

Zeb raises a confused eyebrow. 

“--but it was a _little_ too complicated. I should have asked Mon Mothma, but, well, mistakes were made. So anyway, that’s when I asked Kanan. But I _know_ how that man only got lucky because Hera loves him, so I should have just gone directly to her--”

Zeb raises _both_ eyebrows. 

“--but even the _general_ gave me a terrible idea! It would have been so sweet, I _swear,_ but the whole thing blew up! And then, when I had to ask _Chopper--”_

The other man raises a hand. He gently sets it upon Kallus’ lips. 

“Alexsandr,” he asks, eyes soft and playful, “ _what_ are ya tryin’ to say?” 

Kallus takes a deep inhale of breath. He gazes into the other man’s eyes, and he steadies himself by clutching on to his shirt. 

“Zeb…” he begins, voice a terrified whisper. 

The Lasat chuckles softly. Tenderly, he raises both of his massive hands to lay upon the trembling ones on his chest. He purrs, tilting his head to the side, considering Kallus with a soft smile. 

“Why don’ you just let _me_ say it?” 

Kallus closes his eyes. He nods shakily. 

“Alexsandr Kallus,” Zeb asks, stroking his knuckles. “Will ya do me the honor of bein’ my husband?” 

He finds himself smiling. He finds himself blushing and looking down shyly, even though the event is not unexpected and he is not unprepared. Looking back up at the other man sitting across from him, he feels his eyes filling with silent tears. 

“That easy?” he replies, sniffing fondly. “It was that easy to say? That’s all it takes?” 

Garazeb raises both of his hands, cupping either side of his bearded face. He strokes his thumbs through the bristle of hair, tilting his lips up towards his warm, fanning breath. 

“Ya don’ need anythin’ special for me, Alexsandr,” he says. “Because _you_ are special. And you are mine, and I am yours. Just as we are.” 

Their mouths meet in the tender press of a kiss, and Alexsandr Kallus sighs with relief and adoration. He feels Zeb’s purr rumbling up through his chest, humming against his rough tongue and soft lips. When they draw away, he feels tears falling from his golden eyelashes. 

“Mmm. _Ice cream,”_ Zeb says, licking his lips. “Next time ya have an existential crisis, ya’d do better to invite me along.” 

Alexsandr Kallus laughs, allowing himself to be scooped up and gathered into the lap of his _fiance_. He wraps his arms around Garazeb’s neck, receiving a wave of chin-rubbing and kisses. Feeling warm and well-loved, he sighs against his kind, brilliant partner. 

_“Always,_ ” he replies, voice choked thick with emotion. “Now, and forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you have the time. <3


End file.
